Faith Story by Angel Yong
When I was fourteen years old, I felt a strong calling from God to go to a particular university. Hence after completing my secondary school, I promptly applied for a performing arts course at that university. I expected a response within a week, but two weeks passed with no word. When I contacted the university, they then informed me that my application was incomplete due to a missing photo. Yet when I checked, from my side, everything had been successfully submitted.
Long story short, they told me there was something wrong with the system. It appeared that my unwavering faith and years of prayer couldn’t overcome a technical glitch in the university’s system. Because my application didn’t go through, I didn’t have the chance to join the audition.
I was extremely down upon receiving the news. I cried intensely and felt lost, not knowing what to do. That same day, we were due to have a campus service. Though I didn’t feel like attending, my mother encouraged me to go. So I did.
During the service, the discussion was about Abraham being asked to sacrifice his son, Isaac, as a test of faith. I knew that God was telling me that my current situation was also a test of my faith. So I held onto the belief that God has a plan for me, even though I didn’t know what the next steps would be. My prayer was “ Open my eyes to see like You, break my heart for what breaks Yours.”
For three weeks, I found myself crying every day. Not because of my personal struggles, but due to seemingly the smallest things around me. For example, I teared up when I saw homeless people, and I cried when I heard a former schoolmate whom I didn’t know had passed away.
Singing worship songs became a struggle – I would break down upon hearing them. This deep emotional pain allowed me to better understand God’s perspective on humanity’s struggles.
As the only worship leader both in the youth and the campus groups, I faced the challenge of leading worship even amidst of tears. Sometimes, I would lead while crying. At other times, I would need to pause after worship to collect myself before continuing on with the service. This season was emotionally and mentally draining. Yet I was spiritually sensitive, spiritually growing, and spiritually renewed.
As time went by, the feelings of brokenness lessened. At the Revival Conference in May, I found myself being able to worship God with joy; free from emotional breakdowns. Throughout the conference, I could sense that the presence of the Lord was thick. Nevertheless I could stand firmly in His presence. During my reflection time after the conference, God told me that He had given me the authority to stand in His presence.
A week later, the Campus Camp was due to take place. Terence and Deb had asked us to pray to be spiritually ready. As I prayed, I sensed God saying that He would be making a big move during the camp.
While leading worshiping during the first session, the feelings of brokenness and wanting to break down came back to me. I sensed the Lord saying it was not yet time, so I held back.
During the fourth session when we had our Fireball time, some were already soaking in the presence of God, so we flowed into worship immediately from there. After singing just one verse, I sensed God telling me “They are ready. Bring everyone on their knees.”
I hesitated. Some were not yet believers. Then I obeyed. I said, “If you are ready, join me in taking off your shoes and kneel before the Lord.” Instantly the whole room fell on their knees.
There was repentance, brokenness and healing. That evening, everyone present had their moment with God. Today if you ask any of the young people in youth or campus, they will have a testimony to share. God is so real in our lives.
I had to go through the dry season to deepen my empathy and to allow me to better understand God’s perspective. God was working behind the scenes during the times of perceived silence. He was preparing me, preparing us, for greater things. He is teaching us to persevere during the dry seasons.
And this month I will be leaving for Nanjing, to the university that God had called me to earlier.
Angel Yong.